Things I've learned from watching Disney

I don't get to see much grown up TV. I do see a lot of the Disney Channel and feel I've learned a lot about the life of a teenager in the USA from this valuable service.

1. All US teens live in large houses with bedrooms as big as a barn which have been decorated by Ty.

2. They all have a friend who is a little 'quirky' or as we might say here 'a brick short of a load.'

3. They all wear whatever they like to school and have changes of outfit in their tardis like lockers.

4. The nasty girl at school is always a cheerleader - cheerleaders are not nice.

5. It is desirable to date the sports team captain who is not very bright.

6. Number five is not allowable. The dim sports guy must date the evil cheerleader.

7. No one has spots or bad hair - ever.

8. All US schools have food fights in their dining halls.

9. Everyone can sing - even the cheerleaders.

10. They all have a band and are allowed to play as loud as they like in a garage without anyone ever complaining.

I now consider myself an expert in this field and look forward to watching Nickolodeon where I understand I can watch Australian teens turning into mermaids.