2008 Friday fun 8

Here are a few more Aynuk and Ayi jokes - thanks to Yampy for these.

Aynuk and Ayli stop to look at the stars swaying, on their way home after a night out.

"It meks yer yed reel when yow think about infinity" says Aynuk. "Fer instance, what's the highest number in the universe?"

Ayli's brows furrow with the magnitude of the question.

"Er, that'd be a trillion or summat, wouldn't it?" he replies at last.

"Ah-ha!" says Aynuk triumphantly "but worrabaht a trillion and one?"

"Ar, fair play ter yer" concedes Ayli "but I wor far off, was I?"



Aynuk decides its about time he got himself fit and decided to take up jogging. One day while he was out jogging, he noticed two tennis balls lying by the side of the road.

He picked the balls up, put them in his pocket and continued on his way.

When he gets to the end of his jog, he happens to see Ayli sitting outside the pub, doing his training, downing a pint.

Ayli looks at old Aynuk standing there huffing and puffing, red faced and doubled up.

"What am then big bulges yove got in your shorts?" he asked.

"Tennis balls," pants Aynuk

"Yow poor sod " said Ayli,. "Our kid they must be really hurting, no wonder yome in agony,

I once had tennis elbow and I know the pain was unbearable."



Aynuk and Ayli are in the chemists:

"Ar'd steer clear of that bum deodorant if ah wuz yow Ayli, it day 'arf cum sharp".

"Tharray bum deodorant Aynuk, it's normal stick deodorant fer under yer arms".

"Well ah guh ter the foot of our stairs. I onny follered the instructions day I? It sez on the side 'PUSH UP BOTTOM' "

2008 Friday fun 5

Aynuk and Ayli are standing in Aynuks back garden, Aynuks next door neighbour is running up and down his back garden pretending he's riding a motorbike.
Ayli says, "whats up wi im?"
Aynuk says, "tek no notice he's saft in the yed he thinks he's in the Isle o mon in the TT rerces."
Ayli says, "but he ay got a bike yo orter tell him,"
"Bugger off." says Aynuk, "he pays me a fiver a wik to clean it."

Courtesy of Dave Clark, Shropshire




Aynuk and Ayli had had an argument and hadn't spoken to each other for over a month. One day Aynuk see's Ayli walking towards him on the opposite side of the road and being the more Forgiving calls to him, "is that yo Ayli?"
A voice comes back, "no it ay,"
Aynuk say's "well bugger yer then. This ay me neither."

Courtesy of Dave Clark, Shropshire




Ayli sees Aynuk in a railway cutting sprinting along in front of a train.
Ayli : Hey Aynuk. Why don't yer run up the bonk?
Aynuk : If I cor bayt it on the straight I cor bayt it up the bonk!

courtesy of Hugh Knight